So, I turned 40 a while go, in February to be exact and I've been wanting to write about the experience for a while now. But, the reason I haven't is pretty simple, I really have nothing to talk about.
Sure, if you asked me when I was 30 or 35 what it would be like to be 40 I would have said something like "well, that's so far away I don't want to think about it." And now it's here, and now it's gone, and I don't think or feel any different than I did when I was 30 or 35. Heck, sometimes I don't think I feel any different than when I was 20 or younger. Sure, I have more experience and yeah, I've done things that I would never have dreamt of those many years ago but at the core, on the inside I still feel and think pretty much the same.
At least I think I do, it's hard to say really.
I have the same interests, Science Fiction, writing, reading, movies, TV, girls, than I did when I was younger. I've added a few more along the way but not many. Improv probably being the biggest addition to my life, but even that's not really new since I've always loved to laugh and I've always loved to make people laugh so, I guess improve isn't new as much as it is a different manifestation of something I already liked to do.
I wasn't really expecting anything Earth shattering to happen when the clock struck midnight on February 23rd but I guess I expected to feel something different, some sort of realization of "wow, I'm 40 now!" and I guess there was some of that in the days leading up to it but, after the day passed it was just another birthday, just another day.
Actually, I discovered a long time ago that birthday's, for me anyway, never live up to what other people tell you they'll be like. When I turned 16 it was supposed to be a big deal and yeah, I had a nice party and all but really I didn't feel any different. Same when I turned 21, 30, and now 40.
Personally, I think you should really celebrate birthday's before you turn 10 and after you turn 80 cause really, they're fun until you have start inviting girls you like to a parties, then again when you're not so sure you'll have another one. I mean, I can get behind an surprise 80th birthday party for me! Actually, never mind the surprise part, that seems like a bad idea.
A lot of events in our lives are like that I guess. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've done a lot of really cool things, fulfilled a lot of goals and experienced a few things I never thought would happen and those were all great moments in my life that I'll never forget but, I can probably name those moments on my hand. A lot of supposed life defining moments have either added another expeince to my cost of living, or just weren't all they were cracked up to be.
I know, I almost sound like I'm being a curmudgeon but I'm not, I've enjoyed everything I've had to experience in life and those things that I haven't enjoyed I've at least tried to learn from.
I guess that's the one thing about being older that I enjoy, learning from the things I've done and trying my best to become a better person. It sometimes seems like that's all I've been doing my entire life and maybe one day I'll be the best person I can, hopefully before my 80th surprise party.
